Category: bitch


You are never (as in never ever ever ever) the only one. Never. Ever. You can stop writing “Am I the only one who thinks…” because you aren’t. There are millions of kajillions of people on the internet and I am sure that unless you don’t exist somebody else on it shares your sentiment. I would also ask you to remove “I’m sorry but…” from your sentence beginning repertoire. Don’t say it if you’re gonna be sorry about it before you even begin. That is all! Until next time!

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I can’t go a day without hearing somebody prefacing a sentence with “I’m not gonna lie…”. In short, I hate this.

In long, I don’t expect you to lie a lot. I don’t even expect you to lie a little. You don’t have to say “I’m not gonna lie…” before everything you say. If you don’t know somebody who says this 1. you’re lucky and 2. here are some examples.

I’m not gonna lie… I love these shoes.

I’m not gonna lie… I really want to see that.

I’m not gonna lie… I am ambivalent towards the Darfur situation.

I’m not gonna lie… that Rebeka is a bitch.

Now that last one might warrant an “INGL”, but when you use it in front of every opinion it starts to lose it’s meaning. Where did this phrase come from you may ask? Good question. Let me know when you find out. And look up when “throw ____ under the bus” gained popularity. Who is committing the mass hit-and-runs?

Anyways, I have another question for you. How often do you expect to be lied to? Why does everybody have to make sure the person they are talking to knows that they aren’t lying? Have we become so fraudulent that we must insist that our co-conversationalists understand that we are being honest? The answer, it seems, is yes.

So I am hereby instituting a new rule for myself. Feel free to adopt it and help rid the world of “INGL”. From now on, if somebody says “INGL” to me twice in one conversation I will assume that the rest of what they say is a lie. Furthermore, I will lie throughout the conversation and not tell a single truth. So be prepared.